I talked to Fluffy today. She knows thinks now that she did not know. She is sorry I did not tell her about X before. She cried, but I think maybe that she understands alot of things now that she did not understand before. I hadn't meant to tell her but I had to in the midst of explaining why I am learning to be brave and how I have not been and why I do not want to go to the Poulsbohemian right now, even though she says that people are asking after me and are hoping that my writing & art are going well and are so prooud of me for going to NY. I know they mean well but sometimes meaning well is not enough and I don't want to right now. I think though it maybe something to work up to because it used to be a good place to me and it should allowed to be again. I will be brave enough to growl. She, Fluffy, says she remembers how strong I was when she met me. That gives me hope I guess, I had thought I was just too silly to be afraid. *l*