Found a box of nail polishes from junior high this morning. I remember picking colors that were good for day dreaming in class. Dark blue for the ocean, lighter for blue skies, pale nearly white blue for clouds. A deep violet or green for changes and secrets. Sparkly things to put on my toes when I was teaching preschoolers' level one, to give them an incentive to put their faces in the water and open their eyes. It worked too. I remember sleepovers. How many times can Fifth Element be seen before it stops seeming so damn good? Painting each other's nails. M chose purples and blues. K, princessy pinks, or reds that implied things we didn't know a damn thing about. Fluffy choosing blue, green, purple, sparkles. Later Smack, I can't remember what she chose, maybe she didn't. I remember when M grew away when she and James were dating. The shock of sex and people we knew. I remember when some boy asked me to varify a rumor and I told him it was none of his buisness and to fuck off. He looked so shocked. I never swore then. If he'd pressed it I thought I would hit him and I think he knew it. I never told M about it, she would have been just as indignet that anyone thought they had a right to ask, or maybe she would have just said, 'yeah. so?' I wonder how she's doing these days. M and I used to tell each other dirty jokes in 5th & 6th when we were at different elementries and had sources besides each other. They didn't mean anything it was just the pleasure of the forbidden, talking about thing we weren't supposed to talk about, or know about, not that we did really. I hope she is well. I painted my nails today. Green on my toes and a fleshy metallic pink on my fingers. Glad that nail polish remover is still under the sink.