too late to wish I guess. I'm trying to stay busy enough to be fine, to not think. Everyone is running from their thoughts. She said, 'he's here, for a week.' I need a reason to not go Tuesday. I need to go Tuesday; I need to go unafraid. There's nothing left to hurt me in this town but ghosts and if I yell loud enough they will (should) scatter in the wind off the ocean and be washed away by the misting rain. His name is bile rising in my throat and it tastes like death on my tongue. tomorrow is my day with innocence. I'm afraid the silence will crack me open and I felt so strong four hours ago, I could even take life back from the water four hours ago. My body was stronger than the cold and my mind knew every step without flaw and there was never the falling feeling of impending failure. I watched a movie with Fluffy tonight. The husband fucked his wife as if she was just a void he was filling and the look on her face said that she knew it. It made me want to hurl more than all the blood, besides the end...