"and i am here to exercise my freedom of choice i passed their handheld signs went through their picket lines they gathered when they saw me coming they shouted when they saw me cross i said why don't you go home just leave me alone i'm just another woman lost you are like fish in the water who don't know that they are wet as far as i can tell the world isn't perfect yet ...i am growing older waiting in this line some of life's best lessons are learned at the worst times under the fierce fluorescent she offered her hand for me to hold she offered stability and calm ...on that sterile battlefield that sees only casualties never heroes my heart hit absolute zero ...they keep pounding their fists on reality hoping it will break but i don't think there's a one of them leads a life free of mistakes" 'lost woman song'-Ani Difranco I'm realizing I've been avoiding this story since it came to past. It didn't even occur to me until you asked what I used to ask about everything. "why not?" It is my story because it is her's and the gender makes is half universal. I still haven't heard from her in months, and I'm always worried that when I call after a while that her answering machine won't say her name anymore, that the emails instead of being ignored or quickly, pithily answered will bounce back, 'user unknown.' If these keeps up too long I'll drive to her parents' house and get half-answers which are better than no answers at all. I'll have nearly four months to find her again, for her so she won't try and carry everything alone, and for me because she never stopped being brave and she reminds me how to be brave again. Janus can save herself if she gets together. So I guess what I'm saying is thanks for reminding me that life is stories. Funny I used to live by that and sometimes I still forget.