"think i'm going for a walk now i feel a little unsteady i don't want nobody to follow me xept maybe you ...i could do a lot of things and i do" -Ani Words are so much easier, without eyes, voices. I'm not sure I would have fought if you'd been in the room. It's so much easier to say what I mean in text. I don't get so screwed up by not wanting to hurt people and being afraid. In real I'm not sure I would have said anything at all and I would have let you keep comparing and just carried it around in me, a nice little dagger for you to twist a little to see if I'm trustable or whatever, whenever you liked. I'm pretty good at it. I'm not sure why I told you that. I'd rather you believed in me, but you already do too much. And by too much I wonder if I mean not enough...[Do I contradict myself? well, then I contradict myself."-fucking Whitman] But I keep thinking about that, that I wouldn't have said anything, and you would have just kept on until my head made you into one more dark thing for me to run from. This is a problem with my head. Way to pick my song, doll... I used to drive around for hours screaming that, and all the rest, but then you probably knew that. If there's one thing I hate about this city is there's no where for me to scream and without being heard and very few places to cry without being seen, it makes me want to scream all the time. But it's funny cause when I get to the ocean I stop needing to. You're right about the shifting answer, but if my mind was insulated... no, I don't like that thought at all. Don't ask me for easy answers I know very few true ones, maybe none. To clarify: play nice, please. [I swear I had more to say but words aren't working.]